By Ray Hanania
Southwest News-Herald Friday April 5, 2013
North Korea has always made outlandish, violent threats against the United States since the armistice deal was signed, first by Un’s father, the late maniac Kim Jong Il, who was truly ill, and now the equally belligerent son whose uniform hangs on his shoulders like a clown.
Un: “OK Generals. We want to threaten to attack the United States and American occupied South Korea. Should we call the Americans the Great Satan?”
Generals: “That’s good but the term has already been taken. Let’s come up with something new.”
Un: “OK. Let’s just threaten to drop nuclear weapons on America and on American occupied South Korea.”
Generals: “Yes, let’s threaten to kill as many Americans as we possibly can. A nuclear strike would really be threatening.”
Un: “We’ve tested the nukes and no one deserves to be nuked more than America, the evil empire, and its puppet the American occupied South Korean slime.”
Generals: “Yes Comrade Un. All hail the memory of your father, Kim Jong Il.”
Un: “Of course, if we threaten to drop nuclear weapons on America and American occupied South Korea, won’t the Americans carpet bomb our country? Send Seal Team 6 to take me out in a night raid? Invade us the way they attacked Iraq for no real reason except oil?”
Generals: “Well, you hit the nail on the head Dictator Un.”
Un: “Nails have heads?”
Generals: “No that’s just a corrupt American saying.”
Un: “Well?”
Generals: “Well, it’s simple. Americans won’t attack us precisely because we don’t have any oil. And Dick Cheney and Halliburton no longer run the American Military Industrial Complex.”
Un: “That sounds complex, all right. So we have nothing to worry about? The Americans are not going to invade us and call our bluff like they are threatening to do in Iran?”
Generals: “No. The Americans won’t call our bluff at all.”
Un: “Why?”
Generals: “Well, to prevent the Americans from attacking us as we threaten to nuke them and kill Americans, their soldiers and the American occupied South Korea, we just have to not say one thing?”
Un: “What’s that?”
Generals: “Just don’t say anything about attacking Israel. If you even hint at criticizing Israel, the Israelis have a headlock on the U.S. Congress and they’ll order an invasion in a heartbeat.”
Un: “Let me get this straight. As long as we don’t criticize Israel, we can threaten nuclear war against America and get away with it?”
Generals: “Precisely!”
Un: “Sounds like a plan to me.”
(Ray Hanania is an award winning columnist. You may reach him athttp://www.TheMediaOasis.com and follow him on Twitter at @RayHanania.) — City & Suburban News-Herald
Categories: US & National Politics
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