Chicago Needs A ‘Sharknado’ Sequel: and what about Weiner?

, member of the United States House of Represe...

, member of the United States House of Representatives. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Chicago Needs A ‘Sharknado’ Sequel: and what about Weiner?
By RAY HANANIA

Southwest News-Herald Newspaper Friday, August 02, 2013
The big topic in entertainment last week was the broadcast premier on the SyFy Channel of a cheap C-Movie called “Sharknado,” a story about sharks that are thrown into cities by a tornado that lifts them out of the sea.

It was so obscure, few people actually saw it when it premiered, but the public outcry for more forced the SyFy Channel to rebroadcast an encore performance that took the ratings by surprise.

Everyone was talking about Sharknado and a Sharknado sequel. “Sharknado 2: The Twister.” It’s the rage of Twitter, if you even bother to rage on Twitter — I don’t know.

Still, the silly concept of hundreds of sharks lifted up by a tornado eating people at random during a two hour show seemed appealing.

Why not “Politicnado” the story of hundreds of politicians whipped up by a tornado and thrown upon the taxpayers in a wanton and random manner?

In the end, despite a lot of people being eaten up by tornado-strewn sharks, the sharks were all killed. In political terms, that means defeat. So even though Politicnado might have the politicians flying through the air reeking havoc on the taxpayers — something done all the time — they eventually lose and the taxpayers win.

In real life, that doesn’t happen. So at least, we should be able to experience that kind of satisfaction as taxpayers in the fictionalized stage of Hollywood’s freak show.

Politicnado is my nomination for the next great compelling movie.

POLITICAL VIAGRA

I have mixed feeling about former Congressman Anthony Weiner, who torpedoed an unjustified career in politics when it was discovered someone was Tweeting pictures of his “junk” (not garage sale stuff) to young girls.

It’s called “sexting,” sending pictures of your private parts on the Internet to others.

What else is new in our world? How worse can things get?

I didn’t like Weiner because his policies on the Middle East were so one-sided and biased. How can he not support the rights of Christians to protect their lands and homes in Palestine?

But as his career collapsed, I noticed that his wife, Huma Abedin, strongly stood by his side, something not a lot of women would do if their husbands were so reckless.

Abedin is not an Arab, but she is Muslim. Her parents are Indian and Pakistani. I noticed a lot of people on the Internet were attacking her because they thought she was Arab. They know she is Muslim.

It made me put my bucket of tar and feathers down and think about Weiner.

Americans are willing to forgive someone one time, but not twice, said the esteemed David Axelrod, the political guru behind “phenom” President Barack Obama.

Why not forgive? If his wife can live with the trauma, why not? It’s not like the media is so pure, or the other politicians who are demanding that he withdraw from the race for New York.

I mean, we’re talking about the race for the mayor of New York, a city that stands for salacious scandals and extreme hedonism. Some might argue it’s all about deep-seated male misogyny, or hatred of women. I don’t know.

Why can’t we be forgiving? It’s the Christian thing to do, even though Weiner is Jewish and Abedin is Muslim.

Why can’t the private lives of politicians remain private and outside of the political crucifix?

Of course, maybe we just make a movie out of it called Weinernado. I’ll let your imagination figure that one out.

(Ray Hanania is an award winning columnist. You may reach him at http://www.TheMediaOasis.com and follow him on Twitter — no sexting — at http://www.twitter.com/RayHanania.)



Categories: Chicagoland Topics, Humor Columns

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